The Heebie-Jeebies!

I am typically not easily frightened.  I’m not afraid of the dark, I don’t mind being home alone, and I find most horror movies to be ridiculous in their unbelievability.  I am also not easily disgusted.  After all, I’ve raised three sons–I’ve changed millions of nasty diapers, bandaged billions of bloody appendages, and listened to countless offensive tales (and smelled countless offensive smells) at the dinner table without ever missing a bite.

And yet there are just certain things that make my toes curl, my knees quiver, and my flesh crawl.  I can’t explain these feelings, and I have no intention of delving deep into my psyche to try to find an explanation (who knows what other horrors I might find lurking there?!).  For whatever reasons, these things give me the blasted heebie-jeebies!

For the most part, I enjoy attending out-of-town conferences and workshops.  In addition to the obvious learning opportunities, I also appreciate having someone else cleaning my room, making my bed, and cooking my meals.  I’m not afraid of staying alone (triple locks on the door are very reassuring), and I’m not intimidated by dining alone (my life is usually so hectic and noisy that I find the quiet relaxing and pleasant).  However, hotel parking garages, elevators and hallways completely freak me out!  Before I exit my car, I have already palmed my key ring with individual keys sticking out between my fingers (all the better to gouge you with, my dear), and as my quickened steps echo against the concrete walls I’m quite certain that every parked car is hiding a potential attacker.  I breathe a little easier once I’ve actually entered the hotel, but then I’m on high alert again if someone follows me into the elevator.  If that someone happens to be a man–especially a man who makes eye contact–I’m a nervous wreck, and if that man exits the elevator on MY floor, there is a very real possibility that I may wet myself before I scurry safely inside my room.

A few other things that give me the creepin’ heebie-jeebies:

  • Salad bars and buffets.  I used to love the temptation of an “all you can eat” extravaganza, but after spending the last several years supervising a cafeteria and watching a multitude of diners (young and old) sneezing and coughing into their hands before grabbing the tongs, I would rather pay more and get less by ordering from the menu.  At least I can hope (because I have no visuals to tell me otherwise) that the cook hasn’t been sneezing and coughing into his hands. 
  • Limp, sweaty handshakes.  I’m not crazy about shaking hands (for the same reasons as above), but I understand the importance in certain business and social settings (and that’s why I carry Germ-X in my purse, my briefcase, and my car).  However, if you reach for my hand in greeting, please grasp it firmly–none of that wimpy, limp nonsense that feels like you’re just trying to wipe your sweat off on me.
  • Raw hamburger.  I am completely “grossed out” by the greasy feel of it squishing between my fingers and under my nails.  I will gladly grill the burgers, but someone else will have to form the patties.
  • Bridges.  I can’t swim, and I’m guessing this is the reason that driving across any body of water makes me so jittery.  If someone else is driving, I just close my eyes and count the seconds until we reach the other side, but if I’m the driver, I’m white-knuckling the steering wheel and holding my breath the entire way.
  • Copperheads.  I don’t mind most snakes; I understand and accept their purpose in the overall scheme of things.  But copperheads are vicious and sneaky and fast, and because we have killed several over the years in our driveway and in our yard, I live in fear of the day (or night, most likely) when I step on one and feel its venomous fangs piercing my flesh.  
  • Unidentifiable night noises.  I was sleeping dreamily, and then something sounded on the very edge of my consciousness and jolted me awake.  What was it?  I lay awake, hoping to hear the sound again so I can solve the mystery and return to easy slumber–and at the same time hoping the sound does not repeat itself because it may give rise to speechless terror. 
  • Unflushed public toilets.  Enough said.
  • Moldy food.  It’s bad enough finding a forgotten container hiding in the back of the refrigerator so long that its contents are no longer recognizable; even worse, though, is swallowing a bite of sandwich before noticing the underside of the bread has spots of green fur.
  • Seed ticks.  If there is one of these microscopic buggers crawling up my leg, it’s accompanied by at least a hundred more.  No matter how diligently I try to scrub them away, hours later I will still be convinced that some of them escaped my wrath and are now migrating up my back and onto my scalp.
  • Wandering eyes.  Every woman has experienced that creepy feeling of talking to a man–sometimes a stranger, sometimes not (but always a disgusting pig)–and realizing his eyes are no longer focused on her face but rather are brazenly surveying her anatomical landscape.  A few times I have stopped talking until his focus has been re-directed, and sometimes I have even walked away, but what I have really wanted to do is forcefully ram my bony knee into a certain part of his landscape.
  • Headlights from nowhere.  I’m driving home late at night when suddenly a set of headlights appear in my rear-view mirror.  The headlights keep getting closer and closer until they’re right on my bumper and following my every turn.  I turn on to my gravel road; the headlights turn as well.  I wheel into my driveway and run into my house, expecting a mass murderer to follow, but the headlights pause at the top of the drive before slowly moving on.     
  • Butt cracks.  Can you really be so unaware of your own body that you don’t realize at least six inches of your rather large backside is on display?  Or do you just not care?  The rest of us do care, so please pull up your pants before sitting down in front of us (and that means you, too, purple-thong lady with the stretched-out butterfly tattoo).

So, how about you, reader?  What sends shivers up your spine, makes your skin crawl and gives you the heebie-jeebies?  Tell me about it …


About icedteawithlemon

I have recently retired from a 30-year career in education in one of the best school districts in the world. I hope to spend my second life reading, writing, photographing, traveling, biking, cheering on my favorite baseball team (the St. Louis Cardinals), and soaking up glorious sunshine. In my spare time I enjoy playing with my pet tarantulas, trying out new flavors of chewing gum, and knitting socks for prison inmates. I'm almost positive that in a past life I was one of the Seven Dwarfs (most likely "Grumpy"), and in my next life I'm going to be either a taste tester for Hershey's or a model for Victoria's Secret's new line, "Bloomers for Boomers." I want to travel country back roads, singing Vanilla Ice songs at every karaoke bar and rating bathroom cleanliness at every truckstop. And someday I plan to own a private beach where skinny girls aren't allowed. I want to be a writer when I grow up. "Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake."--Henry David Thoreau
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110 Responses to The Heebie-Jeebies!

  1. beth rodgers says:

    walking stick bugs are my worst heebie jeebie. Disgusting nasty little bugs. I’m cringing now just thinking about them!

  2. Janet says:

    Been trying to think of something that gives me the creeps or makes me turn green, but I’m drawing a blank. Guess being a farm wife for these many years has caused me to be tough. There is no place for squeamishness on a farm; I’ve seen a lot and smelled a lot and touched a lot and heard a lot and even tasted a few things I never thought I’d try. I’ve been asked to do things that have made me stronger. But I’ll never get used to snakes…guess that would be my nemesis, if I had to encounter many of them.

  3. Teri says:

    Headlights from nowhere!! I got goosebumps reading that. Yikes!!

    The hairs on the back of my neck stand up when someone calls late at night too. I always assume the worst. Always. (Call Little Ms. Optimistic!) 🙂


    • I hadn’t thought of that one, but the phone ringing in the middle of the night always terrifies me–why else would anyone call that late unless it’s to deliver bad news? (Usually, it’s a wrong number.) Thanks for your response!

  4. My boyfriend’s mantra: “Anything needing a sneeze guard is not a place to find good food.”

    And you can imagine that living in Nevada, where all-you-can-eat lobster buffets are advertised on every billboard, we have a hard time finding good food — except what we make at home! 😉

  5. auntbethany says:

    I can handle horror movies fine. Action? Bring it on! War films? Sure, the more gore, the better…but the MINUTE someone starts describing a real-life procedure they had in the ER, I get unbelievably antsy.

    Also…needles! Have never been able to conquer this “heebie-jeebie” inducing fear. Passing out while giving blood probably doesn’t help me get over that, either. I won’t even mention the “N” word (Novocaine!!!)

    Also…snot on toddlers…going down steep flights of stairs…tornadoes (could NOT watching “Wizard of Oz” until I was like 20)….praying mantises…and people coughing with lots of phlegm lodged in their throat. Ugh…I need a shower.

    • I had already mentioned my fear of needles in a previous post–I totally agree! And it’s funny–I almost included “dried, dirty snot smeared across the face of a toddler” because it’s a sight I see WAY too often in the grocery store! And I agree with you on the phlegmy coughs, especially when the by-product is spit onto the sidewalk in front of me! Thanks for your response!

  6. Great post, dark indoor parking garages creep me out too and I try to stay away from buffets. They scream germs! Thanks for posting.

  7. bronxboy55 says:


    But don’t watch the video. Really. I had nightmares for a week.

    Great post, by the way — well-written and very funny. Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!

    • Thank you for reading it and for the nice compliments! I’ll check out yours as well!

    • Well, hello, bronxboy55! Funny bumping into you here and seeing that you shared my octopus post. Thank you! (BTW, I’m on to you . I believe you really enjoy that clip, don’t you?) You do have a point about it being in the same category as everything on the list, which I love, Karen! By that, I don’t mean I love the things listed (especially limp, sweaty handshakes – ICK!). I mean I love the humor and your post! Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!

  8. rtcrita says:

    I’m with you on the bridges (I can’t swim either), the night noises, and the butt cracks (my kids and I warn each other of these in the malls with the whispered “BC alert, at 2 0’clock. Don’t look!). Although, the last one is more of a disgusting situation and not one that really scares me.

    I am also terrified of SPIDERS! Just the sight of them crawling sends me into a panic. Taking new medication scares me (which is why I usually don’t go to the doctor–all they want to do is give you a weird pill for everything) because I never know if I will have a bad reaction. I have a sensitive system and most pills don’t agree with me, not to mention all the scary side effects they all can possibly have. The dentist really scares me. My dentist is cool, but I hate being there. And large crowds can scare me, but only because I worry about if something were to happen and people started to push and shove. Also, don’t like heights or climbing/descending stairs with no railing. I need to be near the railing at all times.

    Wow. I’m pretty much a big scardy cat, too.

    • You should write your own list! I’m with you on the new medication–before I ever fill a prescription, I’ve already googled it to find out if the side effects are worth the benefits. I also hate going to the dentist (even though he’s a friend and neighbor)–all those needles and noises really creep me out! Thank you for reading and responding.

  9. This will make me sound crazy, but the thing that freaks me out is telephones. I talk on the telephone when I have to because, you know, I have to get through life like a semi-normal person. But I hate telephones and have to spend an hour or more bracing myself before I can make a call to someone I’ve never spoken to. The Internet was the best thing ever invented!

  10. enjoibeing says:

    you know, come to think of it some of these things you listed give me the heebie jeebies too! i will now look at buffets in a different way (i hardly go but now if my friends want to go ill think twice) unidentifiable noises is a heebie for me and wimpy/limp handshakes. very cool list. makes me want to write down what gives me the heebie jeebies. nice read!

  11. Shannon says:

    It’s funny, my mom calls those transient GI illnesses the heebie jeebies, and I’m so scared of catching one on the bus or from a buffet. We have an awesome Chinese buffet nearby though, so I get there early to be the first one touching the tongs 🙂

  12. Stephen Mc Elligott says:

    Our Fears though, I think/feel are exactly what keep us from enjoying life.

  13. homesteadramblings says:

    Loved your post. Going to the dentist is my biggie. I put it off for as long as I can and still be healthy.

  14. SUE KLAYMAN says:

    Once again, you’ve successfully made us feel “normal?” and comfortable in our own skin! ………maggots & old gray haired men w/ a lewd gleam in their eyes, expecially ones with 2-3 day whiskers….Gross Gross Gross……Now, I’ll appreciate going back to thinking happy thoughts & feeling blessed!!.] Thank you again for the reminders.

    • I don’t see enough maggots to worry much about them, but I do see way too many creepy old men! I hate it when they try to flirt with me, especially when their poor wife is sitting right next to them! Thanks, as always, for your support!

  15. aka gringita says:

    Laughing in agreement at “Wandering Eyes” — It happens more often than any of us would like but worked with one serial offender and I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to snap my fingers up close to my face to get his attention back where it belonged, and say, “Hello? Yes, hi. I’m up here. They don’t talk back.”

    I also used to work with another guy who was all about the “elevator eyes” (looks at you pointedly All The Way Up And Down)… my sister’s suggestion was to interrupt yourself (and them) while they do that with, “They’re nice, aren’t they?” and then when they look up, surprised (and hopefully embarassed!), continue, “My shoes. I noticed you were looking at my… shoes.”

    • Good idea! I’m sure it’s human nature for all of us to occasionally “check out” members of the opposite sex, but these men don’t have to be so lewd and obvious about it–it really is disgusting! Thank you for reading and commenting on my post!

  16. Needles! I tell every doctor & dentist, please, just dont let me see it. Then I squish my eyes closed like a three year old & wince until I realize the needle “pain” is not equal to the drama I’m displaying.

    • I know exactly how you feel! I always have to close my eyes, and it almost always ends up being no big deal–which still doesn’t make it any easier the next time around! Thank you for reading and commenting on my post!

  17. Shannon says:

    One of my pet peeves is when I’m shaking someone’s hand and, not only are they barely shaking mine, but they’re not even looking at me! Ugh I can’t stand that.

  18. I’ve worked in a restaurant. Good luck with the cook hand-washing thing.

  19. anglnwu says:

    You’ve taken our irrational fears (sometimes, that seems to be case) and humanize them. I’m glad I’m in good company.

  20. markp427 says:

    For me, it’s ants. I see one and I know there are a thousand others lurking nearby. My mind then goes to those National Geographic specials about trails of army ants marching through the jungle, devouring everything in their path, including the poor unfortunate cow you happens to get in their way. {Shiver.}

    Yep. Ants.

  21. Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.

  22. Soggy half eaten food … like when someone just sticks the plate in the sink without rinsing it off or scraping it off. I don’t know why but that grosses me out more than just about anything else. I am quite prissy when it comes to doing the dishes. Not much else gives me the heebie-jeebies but that does.

  23. Shreya says:

    Snakes! I am from India and we have deadly snakes crawling leisurely in gardens some times, I can not even look at one!

  24. camel crickets– they are mutant, sentient alien beings that do not belong in the food chain– found one once clinging to the curtains next to my bed, and proceeded to sleep in the living room–

  25. Mean Wives Club says:

    Fantastic article! We laughed through the entire bit about the purple-thong lady with the stretched out butterfly tattoo. Kudos to you, Dear!

  26. tiallarising says:

    I have doctor-phobia. Literally, I get so-o nervous almost to the point of being sick when I’m about to go to the doctor. Let’s see…oh, well SPIDERS!!! And SCORPIONS!!! And the parking garage thing…I found that I share a lot of the fears you were mentioning. Except for the germs, but now I have something new to think about. Great post! 🙂

    • Sorry about that! I don’t mind the spiders and scorpions too much as long as they stay far away from me, but a spider crawling across my foot will send me into orbit! Thanks for your comments!

  27. Maureen says:

    I agree with most of your list, except that I love making hamburger patties!

    My own fears? Sharks are at the top of the list. I can’t swim in the ocean (yet I love watching “Shark Week”–it’s kind of a fear/fascination thing). Someone mentioned tornadoes–thank you, “Wizard of Oz”! I’ll take an earthquake over a twister any day. I despise spiders, especially black widows. And sweaty people gross me out.

    • I have sweaty junior high boys who want to hug/high five me after their sports class–shivers! Tornadoes scare me, too, but unfortunately I live in a part of the country where they are a frequent reality (thank God for basements!). Thank you for your comments!

  28. Dear Mrs. Icedteawithlemon.
    Although I am not a Psychiatrist, but I thing you need to meet doctor for psychiatric consultation. Relax and think of something beautiful. Thing about your grow up children. Think of how beautiful Taj Mahal or Niagara fall.
    I really hope that you can enjoy life. We live only for a very short time.
    Yours Sincerely

    • Thank you for your suggestion! I have actually written other posts about all the beautiful, good things in my life–I have been richly blessed. Thank you for reading and commenting on my post!

  29. whimsiexoxo says:

    I know this is a little odd….but I HATE terrantualas…..(ughhhghh) so gross, to me. They move verrrryyyy slowly, and all that spider hair….Uchhhh!

    • I know what you mean! We have tarantulas in our area, and I’ve actually written about my encounter with one of them in earlier posts (This Place, Parts I and II). Thank you for your response!

  30. Generation 26 says:

    The main thing that will send me screaming from a room is a spider. I hate those little things. If I can manage to attempt to kill it I’ll throw a shoe at it from across the room. he freak out when I miss and the spider falls off the wall into/onto the unknown.
    Something just generally creepy is the sound the house makes late at night. You know those wierd creak that make you think someone else is there. Maybe I’m paranoid, but I can’t sit in a quiet house along

  31. I found this really funny so I’m off to write my own list! Guy making eye contact AND getting off at my floor will definitely top my list. Nice blog 🙂

  32. A great read! And I can relate to several of the things you’ve cited. The parking garage springs to mind as the worst of the ones you mention. Such a scene usually has me freaked out for miles beyond it, till i can see home territory looming ahead.
    Very nicely written.

  33. liac333 says:

    HYPNOSIS!!!!! OMG! It freaks me out to an unimaginable extent. I even find it hard to watch cartoons with hypnosis as a focus or plot.
    Oh, and bugs. Especially moths (they look old and dusty and they’re so freaking hard to kill…AND THEY CAN BE FREAKING HUGE!!!

  34. emjayandthem says:

    great post! Yes I too got the heebie jeebies from your “headlights from nowhere” description. One word for me: Clowns. Ack. Gag. Hair-standing-on-end-creepy-think-I’ll-pass-out-feeling. Followed closely by bridges. **Shudder**

    ….and a hearty congrats on being freshly pressed 🙂

    come visit me at

  35. mary says:

    f.y.i. copperhead bites aren’t that bad. infact i don’t think they give anyone anit-venom for them anymore cause it makes you feel worse then the snakebite. it’s feels like a bee sting. but snaks do creep me out, mostly because you you’re right next to them before you know they are there.
    i get creeped out by close talkers. you know when that have to be in your face to talk to you… please get out of my bubble, even if i was deaf i wouldn’t need you to be that close i would know sign language. also, even though i could never watch it, i can’t deal with “monsters inside of me”. even the mention of hook worm makes me want to vomit.

  36. inidna says:

    Reading some of these things that gave you the heebie jeebies definitely sent goosebumps trailing down my arms and up my spine! Moldy food and unidenifiable night noises creep me out all the time! I always find it so hard to relax after lights out! There’s (quite) a bit more that I’d add to my list though; like the dark, scary movies (paranormal stuff), clowns, scaly animals… Oh *shudder* It makes me feel kind of lame having so many things giving me the creeps! Haha this is a great read 🙂 Gave me a good laugh! Congrats on being freshly pressed!

  37. i must admit, you made me laugh quietly to myself more than once. quite a post, it makes mine look quite inferior 🙂 oh, and something that creeps me out is being in murky pool water (or any water for that matter.) you never know what may be lurking, or worse yet, why on earth the water is murky (shivers..)

  38. myipodproject says:

    Taxidermy animals! *Shudder*

    I don’t know why, but I have been terrified of them my entire life. And I have this recurring nighmare where I’m sleeping and I wake up to find that there is a moose head mounted over my bed. I wake up for real and have to jump up and turn on the lights to verify that it’s not really there. I react like the dude with the horse head in his bed in the Godfather.

    A few years ago they made this gag gift, a singing, mounted fake deer head. I got three of those things as joke Christmas presents that year! My family and friends are SO compassionate, LOL!

  39. You had me at butt crack.



  40. Debbie says:

    What a great post! I have many fears as well….. From Spiders to maggots to water that I cannot see or feel the bottom….chainsaws, slasher movies, the sound of bone crushing….Ugh. I am off to make a list of my own! You have inspired me!

  41. I’m with you on the limp handshakes. SO gross. And snakes of any kind can turn me into an Olympic-quality sprinter.

  42. jaswrites says:

    Things that go bump in the night. . . Bad for me. I can’t go into the dark very easily. Spiders? Not for me, thank you very much. But I have a way to deal with all of them: I start humming the James Bond theme song. All fears vanish in a matter of seconds!

    • Ha! I’ve never tried James Bond, but I do believe on more than one occasion I’ve relied on the theme from “Rocky” to get me through a frightening situation! Thanks for your response!

  43. Janis says:

    Glass walled elevators! Stairs with no backing risers,the kind you can see through each step.
    Oh yes, I also avoid buffets and snot-ridden children! Really,can someone wipe their little face …please!?!
    Oh and I am not fond of anything in a public restroom,even clean appearing ones.
    I flush with my foot on the handle and use a towel to handle the faucet and door pull!
    I may have issues…

    • I’m definitely with you on the handles and door pulls–whenever possible, I use my shoulder or hip to open a door, and if that doesn’t work, I’m using a paper towel or a long sleeve (I don’t touch hand rails, either). We may all have issues! Thank you for your response!

  44. beentheretoo says:

    i think i relate to this so much the only difference is instead of hearing noises in my sleep i tend to hear them befor ei sleep and i can never get to sleep after that. and not a nighht passes where i don’t hear people breaking into the house….

  45. Alex Niedt says:

    Congrats on the WordPress feature, Karen! The last thing on this list that I recall encountering and feeling strangely about was the limp, sweaty handshake. Such an awkward, off-putting feeling…haha.

  46. *gulp* The limp handshake thing… it… ACK!!! There’s this guy where I work when, on the first day I came in, introduced himself and shook my hand… and it was limp, and wet, and my handshake is usually very firm/strong. Like you, I couldn’t help but think that I was crushing his hand!!

    What else… oh yeah, the butt crack thing… hahaha. Some people are so nasty. I mean, I get it if it happens once… but there’s this guy (also at my workplace) who constantly is pulling his pants up and wears loose shirts… ohhhh… *cover the eyes*

    I’m not sure what else gives me the “heebie jeebies” – oh, I think throwing up does. Anything to do with that, anyone talking about it, makes me shudder. I’ve been an emetophobe for almost as long as I can remember. >.<

    Great post, though!! I will definitely read through more of your posts… I think that your sense of humor & mine are pretty similar. 😉 Congrats on being freshly pressed as well!! 🙂

    • It’s funny how many people have agreed with the limp handshake (I thought it was just me!). Thank you for responding, and I hope you do get a chance to read through my other posts–I would enjoy hearing your opinions!

  47. bluecloverbelle says:

    This is a great post! I have to say smokers’ coughing freaks me out because it sounds like they’re on the edge of death…really horrible! (source: i lived with a smoker for 3 years at uni…. her room was next door and all i could hear was this awful coughing up a lung!)

    • I know that cough … I lived with chain smokers for the first 18 years of my life, and that is a horrible sound (especially when it’s coming from people you care about). Thanks for your response and for visiting my blog!

  48. Sam says:

    Congrats on your popularity MOM! Now you know how I feel. Isn’t it great! It really brings a sense of humbleness, but I digress.

    I can’t stand limp handshakes. It doesn’t really give me the heebs and the jeebs. I’m not one to jump assumptions about a strangers’ character, but if I’m on the receiving end of an ill shake and sans eye-contact I find it hard to take said stranger seriously.

    Fred Phelps and religious fanatics kind of give me the creeps.

    • Thank you, Sam! I’m not making any assumptions about a stranger’s character based on the quality of his handshake–I just think limp handshakes are gross! And I’ll agree with you on Fred Phelps.

  49. Sharon says:

    Bees. They are just creepy. It could mostly be the fact that I’m allergic to them but… Ahggg. The buzzing noise they make as they fly by your ear just gives me the heebie-jeebies!

  50. Pingback: At least there isn’t a snake in my kitchen! « Big Happy Nothing

  51. Nice post. Thank goodness ‘m not alone. Thought I was really crazy to be waking up in the middle of night, esp with feeling of a snake somewhere around. But what I really hate are those un-flushed toilets. Shudder!! God save humanity.

  52. Jana Dobson says:

    I read this post and kept going back to one thought…”She can’t swim? Really??”

    My heebie-jeebies are: Bridges! Hate them and I try not to “hate” anything. We went on vacation a few years ago and the bridge at Memphis was nearly my undoing. It is definitely high bridges that bother me. I could drive along coastal bridges all day. My theory is, IF I were to fall, I would live through and and be able to swim if it were a low bridge. I also blame Nancy Walker for this fear. At a very young age (probably 3), she took me across the ferry (now Pigeon Creek bridge) on our way to Mtn. Home. Apparently I said every “bad” word I had ever heard…dang, darn, shoot and even shoot fire! lol

    • Yep, can’t swim. I took swimming lessons when I was 23 and learned how to float, but I absolutely cannot get my face in the water! Considering I live on the lake and love to be on/near the water, I really should learn (maybe another thing to add to my list of what to do when I retire!). And bridges are one of my worst, too–and I can tell myself I’m being irrational, but it doesn’t change anything!

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